Traditional Weddings of Northern Thailand and Asian Dating

Traditional Weddings of Northern Thailand

Ancient Asian marriage and dating traditions vary from culture to culture but many similarities remain the same when it comes to courtship of ones daughter.

In ancient times, dating in Thailand was not as easy like it is today. Before we did not have Internet, telephones, mobiles to help make you’re dating easy. When a man liked some girl, he would try to talk to that girl by going to visit her at her home in the evening. Some times the men would walk; some take a bicycle or motorbike if that man was rich.

When he arrives at her home, first he would meet, not the girl, but he would meet her parents. The parents would then ask the young man about his life, his work, who are you, who his parents and where is his home.

They would want to know many things about the young man who was about to date their lovely daughter. After all the questioning if the parent liked the young man they would let the daughter come out of her room to talk to him, but the parents would stay close to the daughter when she has conversation with him.

Some parents would not ask questions of the man who liked their daughter, but they would stay in same the room, close to where the guy and girl talked. When the parents did not like the man, they would send a signal by coughing or dropping something in the floor for make some noise, that would mean the parents disapproved and time for the girl to end the conversation.

The parents are absolutely very important and they have a lot of power for girls when choosing someone for her life. If the parents do not like him, that means you can’t marry with him. On the other hand, some parents like a man because of many reason such as they know his parents or prearranged marriages where the girl and boy have been engaged before they were born etc… and the girl does not like him but still has to marry with him.

The Thai Engagement

In the past the engagement was quite simple, no need of a ring, no need to have lots of money, no need for a big house. The parents or the person that respect the couple meet and talk and come to an agreement and approval of the engagement was all that was required. Some family, from the mans side can give some money to the girls parent it’s OK, some parents they will keep that money when they are engaged until the couple are married then the parents will give back that money back to couple, for the newly married couple to use for investment of their life together.

Why give money or gold to the girls parents? Many misunderstand this and they don’t know about Thai people, and ask many time. “The money or the gold that they give to the girls parents means “Thank you” for the parents who give that girl to him. Who ever take care of that girl when she is born till the time she marries and has her own family, we call this money and gold “Sinsod Tongmun” or in western culture would be known as a dowry.

Thai traditional Wedding

In ancient Siam lord and lady of the day where elephants, monks and classical dancers in full costume took part of a local wedding ceremony so richly steeped in ancient traditions and culture. Today however the normal weddings are a little different.

Thailand weddings consists of 4 parts, every part have there own traditional but not much different, even one part they still have a different traditional. Some provinces at North which part of Thailand, there have a simple tradition wedding.

Choosing the Date

The couples have to choose the day for marriage, maybe they consulted to see if the stars are compatible or ask from someone who knows about horoscope to choose the best possible day so the marriage is blessed.

Sending out Invitations

After choosing the day for marriage the couple then has to invite the elder people that they are respect, there relatives, neighbors, friends, and chose friends of the groom all of which will join in the celebration of the wedding.

Choosing the place for the Wedding

Some Thai people, when they have a wedding, they chose the girls house for traditional and they will prepare everything before the day wedding at place they choose, they design what they want, how the look by them self, day for prepare will have relatives, friend, neighbor to help. But now many couple they change to traditional wedding at hotel, they don’t have to prepare everything by themselves just tell who ever at the hotel take care of the wedding about how they want, what the wedding look like, how many people they invite, what kind of foods they want and etc..

Day wedding

In the morning at place that have the traditional wedding, many people will prepare food, stuff for traditional that will happen in the evening. In the afternoon the girl who will marry will prepare herself for the wedding in the evening. Some of the bride’s girl friends will help her to groom and fix her hair. In the evening before the sun has gone down, the man who will marry or the groom will come to her house, but before he will arrive to her house he must have a tradition that we call “Khan Maak Procession”. Khan Maak Procession typically starts from the mans house but sometimes if the man lives far from girl house then they will start from some location that is not to far from the girls house. The procession is a lot of fun, they will have music playing for the tradition and who ever comes with the procession will dance before they arrive to the house of the wedding. But sometimes before they are arrive at the wedding house the guys relatives will hide he somewhere and the guys relatives will let the girl find him, it’s more fun.

Once the procession arrives at the house of wedding, the girl’s relatives will have the gates closed and bound with a silver belt and a gold belt. The relatives will stand and hold the gate closed and man or groom must try to open the gate and who ever stands there will be asking him is he has enough money for marry the girl or not, joking with him and after they will ask for look the money, gold, gift or etc… After he gives some money, some gift for thanks to whoever is at the gate, they will let him go inside the wedding house and then the girl will clean his feet with water at the first step of the stairs. (A long time ago every house at my place they would have the water at the first step of the stairs for clean feet before entering the home.) The traditional wedding couple will kneel in front the elders that they respect or the couples parents and they will put the chain, made from a crochet ball, on his head to her head (The crochet ball that they put on Thai call “Sai Mongkhon” and they will put sai mongkhon only one time by old people they respect) after this they will have the old man for auspicious and blessing them.

Then they will bind the couple from his hand to her hand with sai mongkhon. The binding of the couple hands is done by the older people they respect or the couples parents and next is the relatives by generations to generations but the relatives who are younger than the couple they will not bind them. During this time of binding the hands, some guests will offer foods to everyone and all pass and express their congratulation to couple.
The last tradition the elders or the couples parents sends the couple to the bed room or Thai call it “Kaow Hoe”, this tradition will use the same place by renewing the girls bed room, they will put money, flowers on the bed.

In the bed room they will choose the older couples whoever has stayed a long time till they have grown old together or some choose the older couples that have many children and they will sit on the bed waiting for the new couple and they will bless new couple. The elders or the couple’s parents will give blessings to the couple again that they have many children and they stay together a long time until they get old together and after they are all will leave the new couple alone to stay in the room. (Why they choose some old couple to stay till they are get old together or the old couple that they have many children’s it’s because meaning to the new couple to do the same thing in the future.)

Foreign people from many place such as The United States, United Kingdom, France, Germany, Australia and some from African know about Traditional Thai Weddings. Some still try to have the wedding like Thai people do, as we seen from the TV News, wedding on the elephant, weddings under the water. They will also choose some nice island like Samui Island, Kradan Island or Tao Island for a day wedding.